Misunderstood.
Offended.
Upset.
Angered.
Hurt.
Rift.
Unwilling to forgive…

Emptiness.
Pain.
A lingering wound.
A void.

Humiliated….and Humbled.
Longing…and regret.
Ready to forgive…and be forgiven.

Courage.

A quiet prayer.
A deep breath.
A step into uncertainty….Faith.

Embrace.
I’m sorry.
I love you.
Silence….Patience.
Waiting…to be forgiven.

Healing begins.

Amazing…
Simple acts of Love
Opens worlds
Softens hearts
Eases pain
Lowers walls
Bridges voids
Invites peace
Mends hurts
Heals souls.

And I’m reminded:
Look to God
And Live.

——————————-

This poem came about because of a misunderstanding between my wife and me. She had an expectation, and I misunderstood her expectation. One of those “guy things”. The one where you should have known but was clueless instead. Consequently, she got mad at me, and whenever things like that happen, walls come up, and a distance builds between us. I have a tendency to withdraw, and both of us are unwilling to forgive…for a time. It seems that both of us have reason to be angry at the other. So that’s how it was for a few days. Silence was our companion many times.

I grew weary of the silence between us, and I realized that even though she should not have gotten mad at me, I, too, should not be unforgiving regardless of her actions. I realized that even though I wanted an apology, I, too, needed to apologize for my stubbornness and unwillingness to forgive. I was ready to apologize…and be forgiven.

So I prayed for strength to forgive her for not forgiving me, and the courage to approach her and ask for forgiveness. I mustered enough courage just to be able to embrace her lightly, told her “I’m sorry. I love you”, and that was it. Whether or not she did was up to the Lord on how to soften her heart. I just knew that, in time, the Lord would work on her as He did to me.

After I did this, I noticed something change in me. I began to feel at peace again…even though I hadn’t been forgiven yet. That simple act of my forgiving her for not forgiving me brought me peace. My troubled heart wasn’t troubled somehow.

Things started to change after that. The walls started to come down. Conversation ensued. Tensions left. And peace between us returned. Now, that’s healing!

Forgiving. It is such a simple thing to do. So why do we not do it more often? Why do we choose not to do it and “perish” with a troubled heart instead and troubled relationships instead? Because we’d rather live with a hard heart?  The scriptures below reminded me of how we often overlook the simple solutions…God’s solutions…and prefer to wallow in pain instead…all because of a hard heart.

Forgiving is a test of faith. It is an act of love. It heals broken hearts and restores broken relationships. It brings peace. It is a gift from God.

Numbers 21:5-9

5 And the people spake against God, and against Moses, Wherefore have ye brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? for there is no bread, neither is there any water; and our soul loatheth this light bread.
 6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
 7 Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, We have sinned, for we have spoken against the LORD, and against thee; pray unto the LORD, that he take away the serpents from us. And Moses prayed for the people.
 8 And the LORD said unto Moses, Make thee a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole: and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live.
 9 And Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived

Alma 33:18-21
  18 But behold, this is not all; these are not the only ones who have spoken concerning the Son of God.
  19 Behold, he was spoken of by Moses; yea, and behold a type was raised up in the wilderness, that whosoever would look upon it might live. And many did look and live.
  20 But few understood the meaning of those things, and this because of the hardness of their hearts. But there were many who were so hardened that they would not look, therefore they perished. Now the reason they would not look is because they did not believe that it would heal them.
  21 O my brethren, if ye could be healed by merely casting about your eyes that ye might be healed, would ye not behold quickly, or would ye rather harden your hearts in unbelief, and be slothful, that ye would not cast about your eyes, that ye might perish?

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